Barbara Bush Relocated

[Thanks to Liliana Valenzuela for sharing the following "report".]

BARBARA BUSH RELOCATED
by Andy Borowitz

Former First Lady Moved to New Location Away From Cameras, Microphones.

Just days after former First Lady Barbara Bush made widely publicized remarks about people made homeless by Hurricane Katrina, the White House said today that Mrs. Bush had been moved to "a new location away from television cameras and microphones."

Mrs. Bush, who in talking about Katrina refugees said that "This is working very well for them" and that many of them "were underprivileged anyway," was transported to a facility where she will have plenty of food and water but no more media appearances, the White House confirmed.

"She will be much more comfortable in this new location, surrounded by armed guards on a 24-hour basis, than she was at her compound in Kennebunkport," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. "This is working very well for her."

Responding to a reporter who questioned whether Mrs. Bush would be happy being uprooted from her estate, Mr. McClellan said, "She was overprivileged anyway."

While the White House took credit for its success in relocating Mrs. Bush, some congressional critics argued that it did not act quickly enough to relocate the outspoken former First Lady.

"This was an emergency situation," said Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del). "They should have relocated her the minute she opened her piehole,"

For her part, the former First Lady remained out of view, but released the following official statement: "I am doing well, but I remain envious of those who were relocated after Hurricane Katrina - boy, do those folks have a sweet deal."

Elsewhere, President Bush mourned the passing of actor Bob Denver, calling the "Gilligan's Island" star "a great American and a role model for me personally."

(You can hear some of Barbara's infamous barbs here.)