How I met and why I meet Stacy C

Several years ago--and I guess I could dig up the original emails to find the exact date--I heard from Chicana writer/novelist/poeta Sandra Cisneros, asking if I would be interested in or willing to take some time to meet and possibly mentor a north Texas friend and young(er) writer.  This person, Stacy C, a high school teacher who works with "spec" (she pronounces it like "speck") kids and also writes poetry, is the daughter (well, actually, one of several) of a teacher friend of Sandra.  This teacher friend was a huge fan and became quite close friends with Sandra, even visiting her at her casita morada (purple) in San Antonio.  Unfortunately and sadly, Mama Campbell passed away about 10 years ago, and daughter Stacy has been challenging herself to draft and polish countless unfinished poems in the memory of and to honor her dear mother.

Sandra herself didn't have time to mentor Stacy, but she recommended me because I live in north Texas and she believed me to have the sensitivity and nurturing willingness to meet w/ Stacy.  Well, it did work out: I contacted Stacy, she seemed receptive, and we occasioned to schedule de vez en cuando (now and again) lunch/brunch meetings at local restaurants within bicycling distance of my home.  This became a cherished tradition, where we would get together at least seasonally, bringing backpacks of fotos, recuerdos, books, and ideas to share with one another at a table (public, mind you) over which we laughed, dined, drank, and cried.  It got to be that we couldn't show up empty-handed; we needed ephemera and documents, framed images and poem copies to show and tell about.  And now, even though the sped-up nature of time in the second decade of the 21st century has kept us from meeting more than once or twice a year, it becomes even more imperative, even urgent to bring the right things, the palpable proof of the life we've lived since our previous sharing session.

It had been over a year since our last meeting, and Stacy and I didn't dare put it off any longer, so we met at Rodeo Goat ("because it sounds like a fun place," she'd written as we mulled over a location to convene) this past Wednesday.  I stuffed a  Texas Beat Festival t-shirt, bag of chocolate mint leaves (thank you, Kelley), and a few other small gifts in my new messenger bag and pedaled over to meet Stacy.  Once we embraced and took our place at the backlot picnic table and placed our order, we immediately launched into chat about writing and music and ideas and future and current projects.  We exchanged our gifts and shared our minds.  This time, I didn't get to read any of her latest poetry pieces in progress.  She's on a hiatus from writing, but misses it desperately, as we all do when life interrupts with its myriad requests, demands, tantrums.  I tried to reassure her that the light in her room of writing will turn back on again.  And I felt my words resonating internally in consideration of my own stumbling blocks, writing blocks, boxing matches with procrastination.  I hope to benefit from the advice I offer others by applying it to my self.  Ultimately, all it takes is applying thoughtful pressure to the keys, one letter at a time.  Like t-h-i-s.

L with an extra Ele

a meditation on kinship
on the occasion of E.C.'s 2012 birthday




Easy, they think it’s easy maintaining my liquid and
Lovely smile. Only the digging ones, curious comrades who care and dare to
Look below the grin and guffaws, they are the ones who will ever get to
Enjoy the resonant spectrum of the total and

Complete me, the swallowed bird, with dinky displeasures, and buzzing back anger: the
Hard and sometimes humiliating sunspray of what I live to transcend and
Under which I sometimes get
Pinned. I embrace those who dig and spelunk, unafraid of
Intensity and skin-wound, the companions of my heart synched into my stride, a
Kinesthetic empathy as they walk parallel aside me, pulsing salvation tales, breaths of sweet respite, and lay-me-down-softly seafoam.

Sometimes family just has to come first...

...which is why i spent a coupla weeks putting together this new photo blog for my nephew, who just turned one year old today. Channel 4 News' daily morning show has a feature wherein photos of children (5 years and younger) can be emailed in for brief broadcast on the kid's birthday. I emailed in a jpg of Lucas and it was shown on the telly twice this a.m.! While the photos were being displayed, there was a technical problem that happened right when Lucas' picture was on the screen, and so it was "stuck" for all to see for at least 30 seconds. Pretty funny.


Happy First Birthday, baby Lucas!

Eulogy for Grace: an appreciation-in-progress

THANKS and MUCH APPRECIATION for all the generous expressions of love, sympathy, and kindness that have been extended to me via Facebook, Myspace, phone calls, email, and person-to-person moments. Without you, my beautiful tribe and family of friends, I would be nowhere and nothing...
____________________

Quite suddenly, I lost my young little Grace,
a cat who chose me about five years ago. It was
one unmemorable day that she showed up at my front door,
eager and trusting--
with one ear partly clipped to show that she'd been
a recipient of the "catch, neuter, release" program
of the neighborhood association. We took to one
another with the greatest of ease.

She grew to be very memorable.

She was smart and full of vitality, and today
she is gone. The vet said that she died of
an allergic reaction, which made her throat close
and she could not breathe.

I am devastated.

I truly valued this little animal friend who showed
such an affinity for my homebody writer lifestyle,
and didn't seem to like it when I had to leave for
appointments. Indeed, she had recently started brave
attempts at following me to the bus stop as I rushed to
work.

I had just bought a collar/harness for her in hopes of
working with her comfort level to be able to someday
take long walks together. And take her to Spiral Diner
or another street cafe nearby.

A brilliant, fun cat, she took to tree- and roof-climbing
as well as sidewalk rolling with equal gusto. I admired
her keen insights and instincts; cats have these in general,
I know. But Grace was particularly dog-like, coming to
me when I called and even bringing her little puffball
toys to my feet--in exchange for Whisker Lickin treats.

I could go on, but you get the idea. She was very special
to me, and I am going to revere and miss her forever.


Sometimes Grace would squint her eyes as she lay in bed,
seemingly wanting to ask: "It's way past midnight and you're
still on that computer. Can't you at least dim the lights?"
One night, I got up from the desk and gently placed my
sunglasses over her eyes. She seemed to appreciate that.


Thanks for listening, dear friends and family.
Thoughts of our kinship are helping to keep me comforted.

Love,

Tammy


Extra note:

As i recall, these are the pet names/nicknames i used for Grace in all the time we were together:

Grace - Kitty - Pookety - Ani (short for Animal) - Ahn-i-mahl - Kitty of the City (pronounced "kittay of the citay") -
Autonomy Cat - Pookety of the City -
and Sunshine Cat (when i would find her, mostly in the mornings, luxuriating in the patches of sunlight beaming through
the eastside windows onto the floor)

Goodbye and good life, Grace (Sept. 14, 2009)

My heart is broken...

A Woman's World - pictorial mosaic

[Thanks to Tamitha Curiel for suggesting this link. Enjoy!]

"A Woman's World" - Readers submitted photographs that illustrate the theme of women's empowerment.

In accordance with this theme, the NYT is also promoting an online competition that helps put a spotlight on projects and agencies/groups that empower women across the world. For more info, go here. Contest deadline is September 23rd, by the way.

Radio's Latino USA to look at Latina/Chicana writers - today, Sunday 8/2, at 5:30pm

KERA 90.1 FM has seen fit to schedule the broadcast of "Latino USA", a 30-minute syndicated program produced at UT-Austin, at a much more opportune time. Sundays 5:30pm. This week, la Barbara (Barbara Renaud Gonzalez) sent an email anuncio to let us know that Chicana writers are going to be the focus on this week's episode. Barbara herself will be featured in interviews, as will Sandra Cisneros and Josefina Lopez. I'll be tuning in; "sheck" it out.

From Barbara's email:

"Got the word from Latino USA today! "Books & Women" is a special feature to be aired on LatinoUSA's weekly program this Friday. It includes an interview/reading with Sandra Cisneros, Josefa Lopez, and me. Hope you like it."

Josefina's just released her debut novel, HUNGRY WOMAN IN PARIS. She is probably best-known as the playwright who brought us "Real Women Have Curves." Barbara's GOLONDRINA, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME? is a novel that she had to leave Dallas (so she has told me) to finish writing. And Sandra, oh gosh, how does one begin? Sandra is the ever-busy, awards-laden and Chicago-raised poeta and novelist who has kicked open the door for burgeoning and future writers such as myself.

Adelante, mujeres de literatura en los Estados Unidos. Let's be inspired by our fellow Chicana sisters and keep focused on our own emerging literary voices.

Breanna, my niece, is rockin'

I am so proud of and happy for my little niece, that girl who's all of 15--round the corner from 16. She just got her first-ever payroll check today and that is a major milestone for a family member in our tribe.

We've all been pullin for her, all her life, and maybe even before she was born.

Back in late May or so, Grandma saw something in the newspaper about summer jobs for teens, 14 and up, a by-product of the "Obama stimulus package" opportunities abounding right now. Grandma told little B, and right away B's mom took her to library and B filled out her online app. Meeting, orientation, and other bureaucratic processes later--she's got a job through the Tarrant County Workforce Solution's "Youth in the 21st Century" program. At a church, doing a theater project.

Because B had taken advantage of some cool opportunities with the Rose Marine Theater and with her tia Tammy, she had some "theater experience" credentials to add to her job app. So, she got hooked up with a theater production, and we all assumed--B included--that she would be doing lights or some tech assistant tasks. Oh, no. This girl got her a gig performing ONstage, with professional (Jubilee Theatre) performers involved, and together they will be presenting LIVE at the Scott Theatre (!!) in early August. (B did reveal that 100 teens were hired to be involved with this production...)

Apparently, the show title, theme(s), and other details are a big secret to be kept from the public--til the opening night, of course. Which makes me all the more curious and intrigued. B is keeping it cool with the Jubilee folks whom she knows know me; she thinks it best not to drop my name and just earn/learn her way on her own cred (credibility and credentials).

So, with the first paycheck in hand, my little B is a "professional performer" in the 817. I couldn't be prouder and happier for her.

Hey--I'll let you know the performance date(s) and more specifics as I get them myself.

"Barking Water" premiere in Tulsa, Oklahoma--where it was filmed

"Self Portrait: Homeland Series" by Richard Ray Whitman, 1986, photo collage, mixed media
Richard Ray Whitman (the guy in the middle in the image above) is a friend who I met, quite serendipitously at a New Year's Eve party in OKC (Oklahoma City), back in 1999 when the last place I wanted to bring in the new year was in Austin. I called up fellow poet and wondering wanderer Kathianne O and told her to pick me up from the OKC airport around 10pm that night. She, not expecting this call, tried to beg off, saying that she was boring, had no friends and no food in the fridge. I told her that I didn't care, and that I was on my way nonetheless. When she picked me up from the airport, her entire mood had transformed: "there's a party happening at my house--i bought a buncha food and beer--and my Indian friends are coming over!" You never know when a random call to a distant friend can stir up a nice hot diggity. At Kathianne's later that night--and into the next morning--I got to meet and hang out with Richard Ray and his brother Joe Dale. We shared fresh poems, lotsa drink, and kindled a wonderful new friendship. I celebrate Richard Ray Whitman with this post, cuz he's the sort of quiet smoldering presence who defies description. He is a visual artist, poet, committed Yuchi Indian activist, and now--an actor. He is a caring, compassionate person whose gentle spirit can truly transform any room you find yourself sharing with him. I'll never forget the day last May (2008) when he led me to his special altar and lit some sweetgrass and gave me a special blessing mere weeks after I'd survived my closet ordeal. It was a highlight of my visit to Oklahoma City last year. Vicki, Richard Ray, me, Kathianne in OKC, May 2008 - photo credit: Bryan Parras

I cannot wait to see him on the big screen in his first starring role.



THE EVENT: Oklahoma Premiere of "Barking Water", Native Indian indie filmmaker Sterlin Harjo’s new film featuring Casey Camp-Horinek and Richard Ray Whitman.

The film got great reviews at the Sundance Film Festival and was screened at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of the American Indian in New York City on the opening night of the Native American Film and Video Festival in March. That was followed by screenings at the Lincoln Center and the Museum of Modern Art.

Now, it’s opening in Oklahoma. Circle Cinema in Tulsa will host the
Oklahoma premiere, from Friday, May 22nd through Thursday, May 28th.

Circle Cinema is located at 12 S. Lewis, Tulsa, OK
Phone at 918-585-3456 for more info.

Tickets will go on sale Thursday, May 21 by phone or online.

Additional links:
http://www.barkingwaterfilm.com/

http://filmlinc.org/ndnf/program/barkingwater.html

http://filmlinc.wordpress.com/2009/03/26/ndnf-winding-roads-and-lifes-complications-in-sterlin-harjos-barking-water/

http://www.nativenetworks.si.edu/eng/orange/barking_water.html

http://festival.sundance.org/2009/film_events/films/barking_water

Festival Internacional de Poesia de Quetzaltenango - this wk. in Guatemala

Ramsey, our friend studying Spanish in Guatemala, sent word about an international poetry festival taking place there all this week (May 9-15). He's gonna be checking it out, which I'm happy he's doing. For more info on the fest, click here.

And, to read his online travel notes--which are remarkably nuanced and detailed at times--check out
RAMSEY'S TRAVEL BLOG. I recommend the additional reading implements of a strong cup of coffee and a well-cushioned desk chair.

On the subject of traveling abroad and witnessing poetry festivals, I am reminded of my own three months spent--quite often--hanging out in Kathmandu with some of the contemporary Nepali "stars" of poetry. Once word got out that a poet from America was wandering their streets, many KTM literary scholars and poets invited me to teas, lunches, and some--at times--quite pompous literary events, the likes of which I'd never experienced before. (Imagine sitting in an un-air conditioned windowless lecture hall for five hours, watching dignitary after dignitary walk up to the podium for his 10-minute honoring ceremonial introduction--now this is before you even get to hear one poem. When an actual poet is introduced, his (though there are noted and recognized women poets and authors, the great majority are men) brief reading is preceded by hugely long sonorous commentaries by a panel of (who designates them as such, I never found out) critics. Torture, I tell you.{

However, one bold shining exception to all the pomp and pretension I experienced at Nepali literary events, was getting to spend quality time--in his home, no less--with the nationally-revered poet Megh Raj Manjul, known to most as simply 'Manjul." Ah, now the memories are really flooding in. Now I have to drop everything, maybe tonight, and find that old audio cassette which contains my brief interview with Manjul (circa August 1999), and, most importantly, the poems and song that he performed for me and my tape recorder. (Dang, I hate that my minidisc battery was spent by the time I got to meet Manjul...)

Until today, it hadn't even occurred to me that my Nepali literary comrade might have a web presence this century. I guess, because Nepal didn't even get digital pagers until the late 1990s, I didn't think that folks there would even be bothering with website development and html authoring. Oh well, more the surprise and pleasure for me now, as I am finding a cornucopia of sites that are feeding my current re-fascination with all things Nepal.

You can read more about Manjul, as one of the many Personalities of Literature from Nepal on the Spiny Babbler website. Spiny B is a veritable production house of activity for all things literary in Nepal. I myself own archival copies of the "Spiny Babbler", the English-language poetry journal founded by Nepali publisher/writer Pallav Ranjan. I suppose that the print journal was only the beginning for Pallav, as the online website now evidences.

As I keep browsing, I find more sites leading me to my past. Wow, even my former meditation teacher, Wayne Amtzis, is online! I remember doing walking meditation on his rooftop one humid Kathmandu afternoon, and meeting him for Buddhist teaching sessions at a study center every so often during my summer there. Wayne is also established, as expatriate from the U.S., as a writer and translator, having played an instrumental role in the publication of dozens and dozens of poems written in both Nepali and Nepal Bhasa (one of many ethnic languages) over the years. I think I'll send him an email, and start a reconnection in earnest with the living poets of that nation.

Here's to literary expression, anywhere--be it Guatemala or Nepal, Mexicio or the U.S.--and everywhere, and to all the contemporary writers who forge bonds beyond borders.

Thrills and chills in Austin, Texas this past weekend for Sor Juana Festival

This is how i often experience life...

...on the multiple tracks/monitors (spirit, emotion, rhythm, memory, sensation) of my being.



Andrew Baron, you are onto something.

Kendall, my friend, went to DC and all he sent me was a youtube link!

[Seriously, my good longtime poet-friend Kendall McCook traveled to Pennsylvania to meet his two sons and, together with them, road the rails down to DC for the inauguration. He lives a mere two blocks from me, and I'm vicariously thrilling about what he experienced on the Mall on January 20th. Join me in some good feelings...watch this slideshow of his trip. He's the fella in the cowboy hat and beard. Kendall is good people, por siempre...]

ANA SISNETT memorial celebration today in Austin @ 1pm

allgo celebrates the life of Ana Sisnett; artist, writer, activist, beloved community member and friend

Celebrating Ana. Join us Saturday, January 24, at 1:00 PM as we honor Ana Sisnett’s life and spirit.


Trinity United Methodist Church
600 E 50th St, Austin, TX

Ana transitioned gracefully on Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at her home in Austin, Texas, surrounded by her family and loved ones. Ana was a long-time ALLGO supporter and community member. Her visual art and spoken word performances inspired and moved many at ALLGO events. No one who ever heard her read her poem about how to eat mango was ever the same. She could often be seen at ALLGO events dancing salsa with her signature smile. She was a published poet and writer whose writings are included in several anthologies. She was also the author of Grannie Jus’ Come! a children’s book inspired by her childhood memories of Panama.


Her local, national and international activism included community media, anti-oppression workshops, HIV/AIDS awareness, and community technology training and access. As a "Technomama" during the '90s, Ana provided Internet trainings in English, Spanish and Portuguese throughout the world for organizations including the UN. As the Executive Director of Austin Freenet, Ana sought to ensure technology access for everyone. Her focus was on empowering women and communities of color around the world.


Ana will live on in our hearts and be a spirit of ALLGO for generations to come.


Ana Sisnett’s family requests that, in lieu of flowers, contributions be made to one of the following causes in Ana’s honor:

The Care Communities
7215 Cameron Road
Austin, Texas 78752
Web: http://www. interfaithcarealliance. org

Austin Free-Net
2209 Rosewood Ave.

Austin, TX 78702
Web: http://www. austinfree. net/

Contributions to cover Ana’s medical expenses and final arrangements may be made to:
Priscilla Hale
P.O.
Box 6149
Austin, TX 78762



What I earlier posted on Myspace about Ana:

A beautiful person has passed to the other side: Ana Sisnett ! Presente !
Category: Friends

I had the honor and privilege to work alongside Ana--as poet, media activist, and feminist--and her voice always rung true and loud for me, even as she spoke with a quiet, unhurried tone resounding with empathy and wisdom. Her tremendous grey dreadlocks were easy to spot among crowds of gente--at benefits, protests, cultural celebrations--letting me know that my amazing comadre was in our midst. Ana presented herself with dignity and calm assuredness that could never be mistaken for arrogance. The tremendous work she did as a cultural worker and feminist internet pioneer (she was proficient on the web long before I even knew what a MUD or homepage was) helps to etch her name into the history of Austin, Texas. Ana was from Panama, but grew up in the States. As author of the children's picture book, GRANNIE JUS' COME! and performer of her infamous "mango" poems, she had quite a following from Austin to San Antonio. I'll never forget that New Year's Eve, long ago, when I went to her home to do a special on-request poetry reading for her and a special German friend. It was the highlight of my evening, sharing love poetry for Ana in love. Go gently, as I'll always remember you, TechnoMama! qepd. (For more info, read the Austin American-Statesman obituary.)

Stay well and cherish each day, folks. Live lively, carrying on the work that Ana's legacy inspires us to continue. In her name, and keeping in mind all her gentle reminders, I find renewed strength to do what I am supposed to do: for comunidad, my gente, our planet, our own lives.

Manuel Diosdado Castillo, Jr. - passes to the other side at the age of 40

This morning I opened some email to find that MANUEL DIOSDADO CASTILLO, JR., the founder and director of San Anto Cultural Arts--which helps underserved youth through mural-building, a teen-produced newspaper, and media education projects--has died after a brief struggle with cancer.

Manuel or "Manny" as we all called him, was only 40 years old.

I met Manny when he was drumming in a garage punk band at a tiny club off Sixth Street in Austin back in the 1990s. He was friendly and laidback cool, though he was ferocious on drums.

His band, Cleofus Trujillo Trio, played at one of the best parties I've yet to throw, when I lived on rural land on the periphery of Austin's city limits. Again, Manuel was alot of fun, and very kind to me.

Over the years, whenever I chanced to run into him in San Antonio, he was always eager to share stories about his projects at San Anto Arts. He kept inviting me to do a poetry workshop or performance for the youths, but my schedule was not on the same page as his, unfortunately.

His death is a great loss to the music and nonprofit and Westside working-class communities of San Antonio and beyond. A few years back, when Ram Ayala, the owner of Tacoland (legendary club where the Sex Pistols and other infamous bands played), was murdered, Manuel bolted into action by organizing a huge memorial show at Tacoland the very next day.

Manny usually had more than one musical project going at any given moment.

In 2007, I stopped in at Ruta Maya Coffeehouse to rendezvous with compas Karimi, Laura Varela, and la Vicki, when I got to catch the end of his set with the go-go-booted soul singer Suzy Bravo. Wow.

I had been hoping for his band, Snowbyrd, to play in Fort Worth sometime, and he'd almost made it happen last summer on their way south from a gig in Kansas, but alas...

The last time I saw him was in late July of 08, when Ramsey and I rolled through San Anto (NOBODY in San Antonio says "San Antone" by the way) on our way home from Mexico. Manuel was leaning on the bar at an old school conjunto joint where a live band was plunking out the Mexican polkas as couples scooted across the smoke-filled dance hall. He embraced me warmly and offered to buy me a longneck, but alas Ramsey was impatient and smoke-intolerant out in the parking lot.

Some opportunities just never make...

Rest in peace, Manuel. I'll bet there are dozens of San Anto graf writers incanting your name with aerosol colors upon the broken plaster and concrete walls of the barrios tonight...

http://www. mysanantonio. com/entertainment/San_Anto_Cultural_Arts_founder_dies. html

Web Posted: 01/06/2009 9:26 CST

Arts leader Manuel Castillo dies at 40


By Elda Silva - Express-News Staff Writer

Though not a visual artist himself, Manuel Castillo changed the face of San Antonio.


The executive director of San Anto Cultural Arts, an organization responsible for more than three dozen murals on the West Side, Castillo died Tuesday evening after a short battle with cancer. He was 40.


The graduate of Holy Cross High School was a founder of San Anto Cultural Arts, which grew out of Inner City Development, a nonprofit group run by former City Councilwoman Patti Radle and her husband, Rod.


“He seemed happiest when he brought the community together to do good things — to share food together, to share art together, to share music together, and he did so much of that through San Anto,” Patti Radle said.


After news of Castillo’s death, Radle was among his friends who gathered outside the squat, neon-green house that is home to San Anto Cultural Arts. At the vigil, some mourners tucked bouquets into the chain-link fence. Others simply stood in the yard illuminated by streetlights and shared memories.


“He’s always been a guy who took good risks and had an amazing love for what it meant to be community,” said artist Cruz Ortiz, a close friend.


Castillo knew the importance of being grass-roots, Ortiz said, although he never used that word. He kept his programs quiet and low-key, much like himself.


“But you walk around these streets, they all know what the impact was,” he said.


Castillo enlisted friends including Ortiz and artist Juan Miguel Ramos to get San Anto Cultural Arts off the ground. The organization’s first mural was celebrated with a blessing in 1994. In 1997, San Anto Cultural Arts was established as a nonprofit organization, and Castillo was hired as executive director.


“I had some idea of doing public art murals because there wasn’t anything like that going on in the city,” Castillo said in an interview in 2007.


In addition to the mural program, San Anto has a media arts program and publishes El Placazo, a community newspaper featuring articles, poetry and art.


Castillo also was a mainstay on the San Antonio music scene, most recently as the drummer in the experimental rock band Snowbyrd.


“I’m dealing with it,” said a somber Chris Lutz, who sings and plays guitar in Snowbyrd. “The greatest and loudest lead drummer in San Antonio underground rock has left the planet.
”

The band recently recorded a seven-song album. A tribute show is planned for Friday at Limelight.


Radle said she used to tease Castillo by referring to his band as his wife.


“He just loved his band so much, loved music so much, loved drumming and loved what music did for people,” she said.


Arrangements are pending with Castillo Mission Funeral Home.


Express-News staff writers Elaine Ayo and Hector Saldaña contributed to this report.

what i feel @ once on this night of hope & optimism

hugs to all
from the north texas prairie,
feeling blissfully hopeful and lucky
(having just sidestepped two patrolling sqwad car chotas
as i sped happily away from my mama's home down
the avenue listening to steve miller 80s on the music radio,
for i suddenly somehow feel that i get to have the 80s back
as i lost them in 84 with the reagan years).
you can only know this bliss as a person of color
who has felt devalued through the haphazardly
implemented and foisted systemic devaluation of her
fellow brethren and sistren of color through the
decades of her life.
to have a black and a white family cheered on at the
podium at Grants Park on a night of ultimate hope
is the most amazing moment to witness in this ever-evolving
life of mine.

redefinition,
inversion, AND flipping of da quintessential
script are now mandates of the moment.

be loved, wherever you feel yourself to be:
atop a mountain, smiling in a valley,
cresting on the heart of hope.

peace be unto you, my dear comrade!

love,

T

GHETTO PLAINSMAN book party @ Spiral Diner on Monday, October 20th in FW

There had been at least two previous opportunities to hear local activist/writer Jarid Manos read from his first full-length publication, a memoir titled GHETTO PLAINSMAN (Temba House Press, 2007). (By the way, Jarid wants us all to be aware that he is not FROM the ghetto, but, rather, fell deeply into the ghetto as part of his path to adulthood and wholeness.) The first reading was at the Arlington coffee spot MochaLux, on a Saturday night. Needless to say, it was not the perfect venue and time for the launch of a quietly-probing revelatory work, read--as Jarid speaks--softly, hastily. I couldn't hear a word from where I sat, and decided to leave it at that.

The next time he gave a public reading from GHETTO PLAINSMAN, it was as the featured writer for the "Open Mic, Open Minds" series at 1919 Hemphill in February. I had to work that night, so I missed the reading, but heard it went well.

So--when I learned that Jarid was slated for a reading at the FWCAC (Fort Worth Community Arts Center) on Tuesday, March 11th, I knew not to miss this one. The FWCAC is a gallery space--a quiet non-smoking venue--so I hoped this environment would be a suitable backdrop for Jarid's unplugged presentation.

I arrived a bit late, as transportation was a bit challenging to secure, but Jarid happened to be taking a small break just after having started his reading. He stepped over to welcome me, as I rolled my wheelchair into place next to Gabriela and Tabalo, noticing that there were alot of familiar faces in the small audience of about 15 folks.

Temba House publisher Greg Johnson sat near the front, and kept offering suggestions for specific passages to read. Jarid paused thoughtfully between these passage readings to elaborate on certain points and to respond to any questions or comments.

As Jarid read aloud from his book, I felt as if a huge blanketing map of buffalo grass was unrolled over us, drawing us into a great plains ambience. The excerpts vividly described moments of Jarid standing--always alone, always questioning himself and the condition of his surroundings--amidst expanses of acreage pocketed with prairie dog holes, or on asphalt lots, sparkling with broken glass and seedy but amiable urban survivalists. I could feel myself there, standing in his jeans, in his wind-flapped flannel shirt with a broken arm in an itchy cast. I could feel myself there, commiserating with the earth, feeling depletion beneath my feet.

GHETTO PLAINSMAN reads as the soliloquy of a loner who, after descending into the deepest of hells, comes to relinquish his anguish in order to make pact with the land and its inhabitants--whether buffalo or bird, homeless derelict or drug-dazed passerby. This deal is a promise to self as well as to them. A promise to strive towards wholeness, recovery, reclamation, and a resurrection of sorts.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Booksigning party with Jarid Manos

MONDAY, October 20th

Spiral Diner - 1314 W. Magnolia Ave.

7PM.

Free and open to you and me and everyone else.

See you there.

Bring your copy of GHETTO PLAINSMAN for Jarid to sign, or buy one there at the Spiral Diner.

Sponsored by FW Weekly.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

///////////////////////

Jarid is a respected ally and comrade here in the 817, and as writer, I have to say that he has penned a wonderfully compelling memoir.

I got a migraine headache sitting up reading the proof copy of this book early last year--it was that good....i just couldn't
put it down...!



Poem #140 of 365

Jarid, I blame you for the headache,
if someone must be at fault,
for I sat and lay in bed reading
your manuscript at 5am today.

I got it from Greg yesterday
and didn't think I'd take the time
to get my eyes up in the book
because I've been so tired lately.

Yet, I woke up so early feeling good,
but didn't want to get dressed, so I
reached for GP and devoured it for
two hours straight.

I recall the various positions in bed. I shifted
with the book in hand to stay comfortable,
on my belly, on my back, sitting up,
but something locked in my neck.

And yet, I couldn't pull away, your story
answered questions and brought others,
so I flipped and turned here and there
to learn about you more.

And, too late, the pain started rising,
in my shoulders and my neck, so tight
and stiffened with contortions
was my body in reading repose.

When the headache came full force,
I cussed my curiosity and my
lascivious reading tenacity and
pressed my temples and walked
the floors, trying to come back
to my senses, get away from the pain.

I never recovered that day or night, though
I had brief spells of rest and latent ache. And
now I fear to resume the read, and Greg
thinks me superstitious, although I beg
to differ.

Lastly, I want to offer a back cover blurb:
"Reading this book gave me the worst
headache of this century, and it was
worth the pain."

Someone, though, please tell me how
it ends.



copyright 2007 tammy melody gomez

TODAY is a good day to thank the beautiful people in my life--it's my birthday!

275 Reasons to Celebrate

1. Margie Gomez
2. Aristeo Gomez (QEPD)
3. Miranda Gomez
4. Ted Gomez
5. Breanna Herrera
6. Cecilia Epstein
7. Michelle Krupkin
8. Denise Douce
9. Debbie Reighn
10. David Kendall
11. Kendra Bochner
12. Liz Belile
13. Lorna Dee Cervantes
14. Patrisia Gonzalez
15. Roberto Rodriguez
16. Richard Loranger
17. Cecilia Gonzalez
18. Donna Hoffman
19. Ginger Webb (John too!)
20. Elaine Wolff
21. Ari Chagoya
22. Chandra Washington
23. Ernest Garcia
24. Sheelah Murthy
25. Patricia Greene
26. Rose Imperato
27. Nicholas Schriber
28. Rene Renteria
29. Raul R. Salinas
30. Radames Ortiz
31. Ray Santisteban
32. Tonantzin Canestaro-Garcia
33. Teresa Taylor
34. Diana Garcia
35. Allyson Lipkin
36. Irma Andrade
37. Andrea “Gaia” Melendez
38. Lydia Armendariz
39 Enrique Cabrera
40. Cesar Hernandez (Dulce too!)
41. BC Harrison
42. Jennifer Cardenas
43. Tamara Ford (Stan too!)
44. Frieda Werden
45. Julia Apodaca (Dani too!)
46. Lourdes Perez
47. Annette D’armata
48. Amanda Plaisance
49. Emily Kenyon
50. Brackin Firecracker
51. Aida Salazar (John too!)
52. Claudia Martinez
53. Maria Elena Fernandez
54. Diana Delgado
55. Cheri Popoff
56. Rod Lindsey
57. Mark Gee
58. Dave Haller
59. Danny Solis
60. Robert Karimi
61. Lisa Gill
62. Sarah West
63. Darryl Cropper
64. Astrid Zometa
65. Leticia Llinares Hernandez
66. Richard Ray Whitman
67. Kathianne Osborne
68. Tony Gilchriest
69. Mitch Rayes
70. Kenn Rodriguez
71. Mary Mier (Ron too!)
72. Eugene Jaceldo (and the other bros. Jaceldo)
73. Mariposa
74. SXIP
75. Andrew Baron
76. Sheila Contreras
77. Kamala Platt
78. Zeek Kruzich
79. Jordan Green
80. Teresa Marrero
81. Carol Pankratz
82. Kim DeLozier
83. Crystal Dozier
84. Greg Johnson
85. Rose Ann Meredith
86. Shani Abell
87. Jason Eklund
88. Kathy & Dani O’Brien
89. Kat Thornton (Ken too!)
90. Lisa Feather Wheeler
91. Violet Ramirez & family
92. Raul Avila
93. Clebo Rainey (Naomi too!)
94. Ricardo Garza
95. Gerald Youngblood
96. Da’Shade Moonbeam
97. Zell Miller
98. Rich Perin
99. Vicki Grise
100. Ana Sisnett
101. Bronmin Shumway (Kirk too!)
102. Chris & Tamitha Curiel
103. Karen X
104. Kelsie Torres Pelham (Derek too!)
105. Mitch Torres Parker (Bysshe too!)
106. Gabriela Lomonaco
107. Claudia Acosta
108. Natasha Carrizosa
109. Wendy Vestal
110. Devin Adams (QEPD)
111. Linda Curcio
112. ir’ene lara silva
113. Moises Silva
114. Diana Puma
115. Linus Strekfus
116. Andrea Griemel
117. Eduardo Garza
118. Irma Mayorga
119. Sandra Cisneros
120. Lisa Suarez
121. Rosie Gonzalez
122. Robert Tatum
123. Amalia Ortiz
124. Amelia Montes
125. Marisela Barrera
126. Laura Varela
127. Jane Madrigal
128. Rene Valdez
129. Jackie Cuevas (Jen too!)
130. Tony Diaz
131. Maria Limon
132. Anel Flores
133. Vicente Lozano
134. Anthony Flores
135. Anthony Douglas
136. AJ Houston
137. Gracey Tune
138. Will Richey
139. Zack Prince
140. Melissa Kane
141. Ruben Salazar
142. Jose Vargas
143. Ronald Shannon Jackson
144. Rajendra Narendra
145. Geetha Patil
146. Andrea Gonzalez
147. Bryce Milligan
148. Tim Cloward
149. Jennifer Hill
150. Lori Thomson
151. Junanne Peck
152. Kendall McCook (Ginny too!)
153. Kell Robertson
154. Marcos Flores (Sadanid too!)
155. Dagoberto Gilb
156. Shawn Truitt
157. Arleen Polite
158. Akwasi Evans
159. Mary Krenek
160. Doug Zachary
161. Carl Webb
162. Firesong
163. P.O. W. (Poet on Watch)
164. Peter Ortiz
165. Nailah Sankofa
166. Eva Lindsey
167. R.V. Adams
168. Valerie Bridgman-Davis
169. Phil West
170. Tchiya Amet
171. Torrence Gettrell
172. Pat Payne
173. Logan Phillips
174. Liliana Valenzuela
175. Shermakaye Bass
176. Luis Tames
177. Ben Olguin
178. Anita Pantin
179. Sherry Milam
180. Victoria Zapata Klein
181. Randy Koch
182. Sashua Muniz (where are you?)
183. David Moorman
184. Amanda Winters
185. Hillary Thomas
186. Debbie Ursini
187. Viola Valdez
188. Angelique (Jason too!)
189. Yvonne Duque
190. Natalia Dominguez
191. Rupert Gloria
192. Patricia Urbina (Donald too!)
193. Lupe Mendez
194. Yolanda Reyes
195. Alvaro Rios
196. Marco Iniguez (Brenda too!)
197. Manolo Callahan (Monica too!)
198. Rodney Garza (Dava too!)
199. Eli & Maria (the entire Madmedia crew)
200. Haldun Morgan
201. Jose Ruben de Leon
202. Pilar Rodriguez
203. Laney Yarber
204. Mav McNabb
205. Zoe Pardee
206. Judy Gordon
207. Christina Byrnes
208. m.m. harris
209. Machete
210. J.P. Markarian
211. Cri Rivera
212. Ramsey Sprague
213. Sahai
214. Gren
215. Rachella Parks Washington
216. Vik Bahl
217. Matt Stringer
218. Samira
219. Susan Libby
220. Mary Porter
221. Vicky Meek
222. Babs & Lama Tamang
223. Janne Bryan
224. Martha Whitehouse
225. Diane Wood
226. Karen Foley
227. John Singleton
228. Octavio Solis
229. W. Joe Hoppe
230. Norma Cantu
231. Heriberto G
232. Luis J. Rodriguez
233. Kazuko (where are you?)
234. Nadja Hamilton
235. Sylvia Orozco
236. Herlinda Zamora
237. Sonia Santana (Tom too!)
238. Robyn Medina Winnett
239. JoAnne Reyes-Boitel
240. Maria Solano
241. Clint Niosi
242. Rachel Loera
243. Nathan Kite
244. “big” Jerry of Tesuque Village Market
245. Lupe Cedillos
246. Lee Daniel
247. Rick Linklater
248. Bill Daniel
249. Emily (from Headlands Center for the Arts)
250. Ron (from UNL-Nebraska)
251. Quincy Miller
252. Emmet Campos
253. Isabella Russell-Ides
254. Al Santangelo (where are you?)
255. Vicki Monks
256. Joe Dale
257. Paul S. Flores
258. Marc Pinate
259. Brecht Andersch
260. Levi Romero
261. Pasha Allsup (QEPD)
262. David Zamora Casas
263. Sandra & Victor Payan
264. Francisco Aragon
265. Ken Hunt (QEPD)
266. She: Bike/Spoke/Love cast & crew
267. Dunya Dianne McPherson
268. Beatriz Terrazas
269. Michael “MD” Meyer (QEPD)
270. Rodrigo Pessoa
271. Layne Calabro
272. Lorenzo Thomas (QEPD)
273. Oscar Escalante
274. Michael Nye (Naomi too!)
275. Charles Dreyfus (Lila too!)


About a year ago, after a night-time shift at the library, I sat down to relax with a bottle of Heinecken and started a list of all the good friends and companions and colleagues who've stuck with me and supported me & encouraged me & partied with me & created with me through the decades of my life.

I started this list as a sort of meditation, to remind myself of the wonderful gift of friendship that I have had with so many amazing people. Today, on my birthday (9/30), I am feeling so blessed and lucky to have had all of you in my life.

With many of these folks: I've traveled or hiked or biked; shared tables & conversation until the wee hours of the morning; collaborated and performed on stages from Madison to San Francisco; distilled life's lessons and exchanged recipes for survival; and corresponded via chapbooks, mixtapes, cd demos, long philosophical emails, and cut-up collages. I have spent the night in the homes of 74 of you folks, indulging in your amazing libraries of music and literature, and having curious adventures in your hood.

When I broke my left foot in February, some of you mailed me care packages (Jen and Jackie--thanks!); brought over home-cooked meals and wine (Kat & Ken--thanks!); carried me to and from work when I couldn't drive (Ramsey, Lila, Dani O--thanks!).

When I emerged from my 2.5 day bedroom closet ordeal in May, many of you emailed and phoned me with messages of concern, love, and disbelief. (I'm still sorting through the impact of that closeted experience--stay tuned for a book, movie, or stage show about this...definitely)

So, on this anniversay day of my birth, I want to say that I love you for caring, and I thank you for being my friend, colleague, and companion. You are my tribe.

And finally, cuz I AM a POET--a short poem:


FOR YOU HAIKU


friend power is strong

i have no need for candle

you have lit my path



LOVE AND PEACE to all, Tammy

My two most recent publication credits: 2 poems and an essay

Read 'em online now.

Judy Gordon, based in N. Dallas, is the wife and artist-colleague of legendary Texas "outlaw poet" Roxy Gordon (R.I.P., Roxy), who is highly-lauded by many (sometimes they play recordings of Roxy's recorded readings on the Native American music show "Bows and Arrows" which airs on KNON-FM, 88.7, on Sundays at 6pm). Judy's a great organizer and late-blossoming visual artist, and in the wake of Roxy's passing, she's kept pretty busy with literary/art activities. PUTT (Pickin Up the Tempo) is her latest project, and she's been publishing it for about a year now.

Read it online here or sign up to receive each monthly issue via email. Two of my newest poems are featured in the current issue. Click on "TAMMY GOMEZ" in the sidebar to read 'em.

You may also consider submitting some of your latest scribbles and raw words to Judy for a future issue. I like the feel of what she's doing with this publication. Think of it as a literary equivalent to "No Depression," the insurgent country, alt-Americana roots music zine. I guess that might be a useful comparison, maybe not...

Hey, I also have a new essay published online for my compa Bronmin Shumway's new zine HERE THERE MAGAZINE, which just launched in March. My essay describes the history of taking my play "She: Bike/Spoke/Love" from the page to the stage. It was a very useful process for me, writing down some of the tools, steps, and decisions that were necessary to this project gettin' done. In writing the essay, I was very thankful for having taken the time to maintain a a blog that charted this seemingly (to me, at least) epic journey.

My friend, Vicki Grise, has started her own process blog, to document the creative path of her current performance project, "rasgos asiaticos, which she's developing at Cal-Arts in L.A.

Sometimes we forget to leave crumbs, helping us recognize and remember the way we got from point A to point B. If we blog about it, then maybe the mystical magic of our creative productions might actually be replicate-able. Or, at least, it could help others just starting out to know how we accomplished the minor miracles of our artistry.

Ruben Salazar - collaboration for Waco art exhibit in February 2008

I've always loved working with other artists in collaboration, especially when the artists involved are working in genres other than the ones I'm usually exploring. Back in January, I got to work with Waco-based visual artist RUBEN SALAZAR, who invited me to send him some of my political poems for possible use in some of his artwork. Ruben and I met via a phone call back in 2005, which kind of spooked me, because he 1) phoned after midnight and 2) he happened to know that I was about to board a train to travel to San Antonio for TeatroFest at the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center. Disconcerting, for reals. I was polite but cautious, as Ruben listed off the names of some of our mutual friends. Turns out, Ruben was just super-friendly and maybe a bit lonely for Chicano/a artist kinship. He knows alot about Chicano/a art and has traveled a bit throughout the southwest to study, work, and network. I ended up on his email mailing list and began to figure--from the content of many of his forwards and messages--that he is an environmental activist and practitioner of what is often termed "advocacy art." He's really good at creating provocative "papel picado" ("cut paper") designs, a couple of which you can see here.































We've shared alot of musings online, and looked forward to the day that we might collaborate on some project together. He is trying to bring some "life" and "culture" to Waco, and I can tell that he often feels like he's waging a one-man campaign to do so.

Anyway, back in December (2007), Ruben announced that he was going to have a show of his work in McLennan Community College's art gallery. He invited me to submit a few pieces of my writing for his consideration, as he hoped to find inspiration for a couple new works from reading these poems. This, in turn, motivated me to pen a new piece, "Steps on the Earth", which Ruben included in a multimedia collage--as shown below--which he created specifically for his exhibit.

I took the train (yay, Amtrak!) on the afternoon of Friday, February 15th, so that I could check out his one-man show and also to perform at the reception. ((A long sidenote now ensues: Ramsey kindly dropped me off at the Amtrak station in time for my scheduled departure, but we didn't have time for him to swing by my bank ATM beforehand. No problem, I thought. I'll buy my ticket and then skip over to the ATM which was surely to be found in the rail station lobby. Problem: I had just received a replacement ATM card from my bank the day before and had neglected to test-drive it. Reason for getting a replacement card, in the first place, was because some bozo had been trying to do a heist using that bank's ATM system, so all customers were required to trash their old cards and pick up a new (safer) one. Okay, so I had just enough cash to purchase my one-way ticket to McGregor. Waco doesn't have a rail stop because the powers-that-were and the powers-that-be continue to resist having Amtrak service their city. Lame. Anyway--once I purchased my ticket, I was left with the equivalent of about $1.25 in coinage. Sad. I had no idea if my ATM card was going to work whatsover, in any machine. I had not the slightest clue if I'd be able to withdraw any money for my weekend journey, which would have me moving on to Austin from Waco--Cesar and Miguel were scheduled to pick me up in Waco, alongside the interstate, at one of the fast-food restaurants across from Baylor U. on Saturday morning. I realized that I had to fall back on my time-tested belief that things would all work out, and that my needs (food, drink, etc.) would be met without the safety net of money. In a pinch, I could also borrow from Cesar.))

Anyway, after my reading at the gallery on Friday night, Ruben passed around a basket for donations, and I was offered the total amount collected--which equaled almost exactly the amount I would have withdrawn from the ATM to cover my anticipated expenses for the weekend. The universe always provides a safety net; we only have to trust in it.
















Ruben introducing me at his art show reception--McLennan Community College in Waco.